Reality?

Hello. (:
Good to see you all again (metaphorically, of course)!

"Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny."
(Today's fortune.)


Yesterday was a wonderful, wonderful day.

Long story short, I taped an audition yesterday afternoon for a TV Pilot, and it went really well! My managers/coaches thought it was terrific, and they are super confident with it! Sending it to the casting director today!



Remember the book I mentioned awhile ago, "Dash & Lily's Book of Dares?" I'm almost done. And, this relationship between the two of them is so identical to this "relationship" I have with this one particular person...
See, Dash and Lily (the title characters) have this hinted-at romantic relationship, but most of their communication is through letters they write to each other in a red notebook. Dash is pretty much the same person as who I have aforementioned, and Lily is a lot like me. It's sort of creepy, how similar it is. But I suppose it's perfect timing.

Dash has this conversation with his exgirlfriend, Sofia, about "the girl in his head." He's talking to her about Lily and their written correspondence, and Sofia mentions that Lily seems to be the girl in his head. How, all of us, whether we're girls or boys, create this person in our head that's exactly what/who we want; in short, perfect. "Girls want their princes, but guys want their princesses, too," Sofia says in this one scene. It's so true. And I've realized that this guy, or, rather, the idea of him, is very much the guy in my head. But I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that, in reality, he may not be. Just because there are so many complications, so much in the way.

I have a lot going on my head (which does not need to be explained in detail) which causes me to have an extremely difficult time telling the difference between what's real and what's not. And recently, it's been even harder because certain things that are not real have been seeping into real life. (You may or may not know that I have had many sleeping disorders for the past nine years, and I'm pretty much talking about the effects of those...) And, I feel like something like this - meaning my relationship with him, whatever this is - needs to be real for sure. I need to be certain that it's really real.
So, I need life outside of our black letters and folded up paper, and if he wants to come along for the ride, he certainly may. But if he does not, he certainly may just stay put.



I have developed asthma. Not shocking, honestly, seeing how I have many, many medical issues.



Song: "Superman," Taylor Swift.

Line(s): (actually, today, I'm just going to bullet point all the lines from the song that fit.)

- "Tall, dark, and superman."
- "He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition. I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him."
- "I hang on to every word you say."
- "And you'll smile and say, 'how are you?' And I'll say, 'just fine.'"
- "I always forget to tell you I love you. I'll love you forever."
- "I watched Superman fly away. You got a busy day today. Go save the world, I'll be around. And I watched Superman fly away. Come back, I'll be with you someday. Go save the world, I'll be around when you come back down."
- "Tall, dark, and beautiful, he's complicated, he's irrational."
- "But I hope someday he'll take me away and save the day."
- "Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying, he's not all bad like his reputation and I can't hear a single word they say."
- "And you'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay."
- "I always forget to tell you, I love you. I loved you from the very first day."
- "And you'll fly around the world, and I hope you don't take some other girl."
- "Don't forget, don't forget about me."
- "I'm love-struck and looking out the window."
- "Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be."